The article above is from a site I love reading things from, The Good Men Project. In it, the author talks candidly about her ex-husband. He suffers from depression. She give a great comparison by using a childhood crush, the Incredible Hulk, as a way to describe her relationship with her ex-husband. Ultimately, it was them seeing things differently. He always saw chaos and destruction like the Hulk did. She always saw the genius doctor, Bruce Banner.
I used to have this view. For a long time, I have always seen myself as some kind of monster. Someone who is incapable of love or being loved. After all, the tolls of my personal struggles have caused immense damage to people who would have been the best things for me today. However, I can’t take them back, nor do I want to. Those days I was like the subject of this article. Honestly, if you think about it, there is always a chance that I can go back to be the viewpoint of the ex-husband, though that is something I do not desire.
Part of the struggles I had last month was I knew I can do more in every aspect in my life. With that, I know that there are perhaps people that I know who see or interact to on a daily basis that I could open my heart to. There even could be someone in those very people that I could maybe perhaps fall for. The only way to that is to be open, which is the opposite of my Cancerian nature.
I’m going to my first appointment with my new therapist on Tuesday. Perhaps she can help me with the main issues that will allow me to be more open. Anyway, I think that I am going to step out of my comfort zone, and do something really cool for some gals I know on Valentine’s day. Sometimes, little surprises can do a world of good in a life. I’m literally not going to be doing this to not try and get into dating anyone, as I’m not ready yet mentally for something that big. The thing I want to try and capture, is that for some this can probably be a lonely holiday, and I think just showing a little gratitude will go a long way for some people.