Rewriting a hopeless future.

For the past week, I’ve been thinking about the amount of progress I’ve made in this short amount of time.

I’ve thought about the support I’ve gotten (which has been a lot more than I can imagine it would have been), and I am grateful in that for sure.

Today, I go before the therapist that I’m working with to finally tackle the final issue that catapulted me to get myself to the point of starting in my own personal recovery.  I think that, when I overcome the feelings involved with what happened back then, I believe that I will have made a crucial step into my own ongoing recovery.

I believe some time ago, I posted in an entry what my birth tarot cards were.  One of those was the strength card.  If you know anything about tarot, the main thing about this card is that it revolves around inner strength. I guess with me, I have always had an immense amount of inner strength, but I did not have the means to draw it out.  I feel like that today, I am on the way to learning how to tap into this more consistently as well as in more creative ways.  

I guess, I’m still in a bit of a shock over how things are now.  A lot of the consumers that I work with, they may or may not have the chance to take a future that is blinded to them by their past, improper managing of their symptoms and triggers, or perhaps the circles keep them in inconsistent situations where they cannot get the stability to believe or think like this.  Because of my empathetic nature, I will not lie to you and say that it breaks my heart seeing what I see on a daily basis.  

I am fully aware that I am one person, and I cannot save everyone.  I guess if I can guide one consumer to thinking that their future is not hopeless, that their future can always be changed, I think I would have done my job really well.  Even if I am in shock over what I see, I won’t run from it.  This position, is my future.  A future, which was given to me by me doing what I could to get better.  No, that’s not exactly accurate.  I did what I needed to, to survive.  I was one of those who thought there was nothing for my future.  Somehow, I rewrote that.  Hopefully, I’ll do the same with some other people!

Mentally ill people aren’t killers, or abusers. Angry people are.

I wanted to share this. This entry brings some much needed clarification to the notion that the majority of people diagnosed with a mental illness are also those that are extremely violent.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

PTSD – is also not an excuse for violence, domestic violence, or abuse.

It is always the PTSD sufferers responsibility to manage any anger, express it appropriately, and if too difficult – remove themselves from people and family etc – until they can.

I agree with this…

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/04/anger_causes_violence_treat_it_rather_than_mental_illness_to_stop_mass_murder.html?wpisrc=burger_bar

The following is from this ^ link.

In the 1980s, around the time of the massive deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill, I was working toward my degree in clinical psychology by training at a psychiatric hospital in Washington, D.C. One sweet, diminutive, elderly patient sometimes wandered the halls. She had been committed to the hospital after she stabbed someone in a supermarket. She was what is sometimes referred to as a revolving-door patient: She was schizophrenic and heard frightening voices in her head, and when she became psychotic enough, she would be hospitalized, stabilized on medication, and then released back to the…

View original post 789 more words

A beautiful commercial from the most unlikely.

I want you to take a look at this commercial, and get touch by it like I did.

A lot of times people see someone doing a selfless act and bring an instant judgement on it. They call it foolish.

What if we all did some small form of altruism? Something very empathic and pure?

Think about that as you watch this video.

Proclamation fo…

I wanted to touch on this briefly.  April is National Sexual Assault Awareness Month (SAAM).  In most people’s minds, you would normally think about sexual assault with women.  However, assault can also be in males.  According to the Rape Abuse and Incest National Network (RAINN), 10% of victims are male in 2003.  One out of every ten males is something that could be alarming, and also missed by a lot of people.

Males will have a lot of problems after they are assaulted.  Some of those problems could include:

  • Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder and depression
  • Alcoholism and drug abuse
  • Suicidal thoughts and suicide attempts
  • Problems in intimate relationships
  • Underachievement at school and at work

Something that I have never revealed in any of my blogs (or at least to my knowledge) is that I was assaulted when I was a child.  I have had those bullets all happen to me.  Thanks to some counseling this year, I was able to tackle this head on.  I can actually gladly say that I am a survivor.  I also work with a lot of victims of assault, as well as those who are assaulted.  Maybe with more advocacy, and awareness, some of these individuals can be rehabilitated into the community, and not shunned.  I think that with a lot of males, because the societal tendency to make males not voice their feelings, a lot of things get hidden.  I’m thankful that I was able to come to terms with my own issues with what happened to me, and I hope with the people I work with on a daily basis I can help them.

I invite you to take a look, if you haven’t already, at the below quote. This is the proclamation for a healthy future from the SAAM site.  If you or someone you know has been assaulted, male or female, give it a look, and remember that you are a survivor.

 

Proclamation for a healthy future

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. This year’s campaign is dedicated to healthy sexuality and young people.

Your Voice. Our Future. Prevent Sexual Violence.

Healthy sexuality means having the knowledge and power to express sexuality in ways that enrich our lives. It’s about every person being able to make consensual, respectful, and informed choices. There is no room for pressure, violence, or control.

Healthy sexuality is a vision for sex, relationships, and growth supported by positive skills, helpful information, and open communication.

We proclaim our right to information and resources to empower us and our communities to build healthy relationships and a healthy future.

We will use our voices to share information and skills to support healthy sexuality.

We will connect with adults in our lives that support and listen to us. We will show others the positive role young
people play in changing the future.

We will engage with our peers, learn from one another, and model the respect we all deserve.

We will connect with resources in our communities to be involved in projects that promote healthy sexuality and public awareness about sexual violence.

We will challenge unhealthy messages and stereotypes in our culture and the media. We will use our voices to counter misrepresentations and promote respect.

Healthy sexuality is a vision to end sexual violence. We can all create positive change for the future and prevent
sexual violence.

My voice promotes a healthy future for all. I am an agent of change.

The changes that have to come. (Happy One Year Post!)

As I promised, I finally am ready to write this.

I was hired by my psychiatrist’s office 4 weeks ago to train to become a Certified Peer Specialist.  I was kind of shocked at the whole process.  I had just come off of the biggest breakthrough of my recovery thus far, and I just mentioned this to my mentor about it.  He then talked to the head person in my clinic, and the rest is history.

Because this all happened so fast, I’ve had to adjust a lot of things on the fly.  While I have been doing well, I know that there are more things to adjust, and more things to manage, and deal with.  Maybe my intelligence will carry me a long way, and I can keep my composure very well, as I improve in using the skills that I’ve learned from my counseling and reading myself.  The thing about it is, is that one of my triggers is getting overwhelmed.  Depending on my cycles, I know that keeping a good, balanced schedule will be key moving forward.

Well, since I’ve been “volunteering” at the peer center I’m at (the paperwork hasn’t been processed yet for me to get on this payroll), I’ve been asked to go to a big dinner with all of Georgia’s big names in mental health.  There are also some politicians that will be there, as well as probably every mayoral candidate in the city of Augusta (we have a big race coming up in November).  I’m pretty excited about the opportunity to hob nob with higher ups in Augusta.  It’s even a bonus that they are in my field that I want to excel in.  Thinking about the opportunity, and then talking to my mentor today really put something into perspective.

I’m no longer just a patient anymore.  Well, maybe I still am, and will always be to some degree.  However, I now also have patients, colleagues, and a boss to answer to.  I’ll have to set an example for not only this psychiatrist’s office, but also the ones that are struggling worse than I am with their illnesses.  Therefore, a lot of changes have to come in my social life.

The first change, is that I am going to completely stop dancing altogether in the terms of bars.  The one thing that has made my name in the nightlife scene, I’m going to walk away from.  Also, I will have to take a harder, and more discerning look at who I hang out with currently.  I know that I have made great strides in this, and I know that I must have the positive people in my life.  Those who love to dream, and those who are consistently trying to improve themselves or their lives.  I can’t waste time on those who want to wait for the weekend and party all of the time.  Sure, that is nice to do a bit if you are doing this responsibly.  The fact of it is, is that many people do not.  I cannot tolerate that anymore.  I will still go out frequently, however, I know that I have to be more aware of my surroundings, and be sure to do nothing that will sully the names of the people who have giving me a new chance at life.

At the same time, I want to seriously make a dent into the fighting game community.  I feel like that in today’s circles, a lot of the people who you see in streams are really not for trying to make the community better as a whole when it comes to American game play.  I’d like to try to travel a bit more and compete in some tournaments in the future.  I feel like that right now, with my newly acquired coping skills, I can make a bit of a splash in the community, and leave it as good as I can make it.  As a matter of fact, I am even putting on a huge training session in May where people from two other states are coming to play each other.  To learn strategies, share experiences, and to just have fun at a great hobby.

I know that in everyday life, it will be absolutely difficult to implement and make the right moves every time.  This line of work is also going to be the most difficult one I’ve every faced.  Everyday, it is like I’m looking at a mirror image of myself now six years ago.  The patients here have different illnesses than I do, yes.  They all share one thing that I know all too well, as well as the other staff, and some of my bosses:  They are all have broken in some sort of way.  The only thing I can think to do is to do the best that I can.  I also think that with everything that is going on with me, it would be an injustice to them, and myself to keep things the way they are.  If I really want people to leave me looking at their life better than what it was before they met me, then I must embrace the changes, and keep growing.

Also, today it has been a year since I have written in this blog, and six years that I have been blogging in general!  Who would have thought that in six years of writing, I would find the tools, and the people who would lead me to find the revolution in my life that lead me to where I am today.  I want to do more than this, and perhaps it is amazing in and of itself that I am now in a position to do what I wanted to do with this blog in the first place.  Do you remember what that is?

To constantly do amazing things.

Quick read on Mindfulness.

Quick read on Mindfulness.

I’ve been on the DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) form of treatment for quite sometime now.  Even though that it was primarily used to treat those with Borderline Personality Disorder, it has helped me very well in taking my coping skills to the next level.  

This article from TWLOHA slightly touches of the foundation of DBT, which is Mindfulness.  Think about taking a subject, and being able to just accept it.  You don’t have any reaction to it, thoughts, opinions, or anything of the like.  This something that is easy in saying.  This is hard to master, as I’m finding out.

I hope you enjoy the read!  I know that I said that I would have a big update post ready, but I got hired by my psychiatrist’s office!  Therefore, my time is stretched thin.  However, I will find some time to write about what has happened since that last huge post that I made!

Empathy: The Great Equalizer.

Empathy: The Great Equalizer.

This is a great read about how empathy can affect a lot of lives, including our own.  One of the things that is not in abundance in this world are people that can look at a given situation through another person’s point of view and take that into their lives to make their life better.

One of the things that I pride myself on and has been a big help in my personal recovery, is being as mindful, and empathetic to others’ situations.  Because of this, I feel like that perhaps there I have changed a handful of lives, and ultimately, I changed my own life because of this.  So, if you are suffering from any mental illness, I invite you to take a few minutes and read this.

There are also links to a test that I guess measure how empathetic you are as well as how sympathetic you are.  I invite you to take these and see where you stand!  

Expect a new entry with how I’ve been doing in the next week or so!