I haven’t posted in a long time, but there is something I would like to say.

I haven’t posted anything in a long time, but I want to say this:

I really do not like how anyone with a serious mental illness are being classified as.

The first thing that I learned when I became a CPS is that I am not “bipolar”, I’m Marques Brooks.

You see this not only in the mainstream media, but also you see it in a lot of the popular blogs, and with mental health professionals, doctors, family members….

We are people.  Not labels.

In extraordinary ways being “mentally ill” is about being poor and right now that is a dangerous thing to be

I was on one of the Certified Peer Specialist groups and I saw this post.
Give it a look.

Hopeworks Community

In extraordinary ways being “mentally ill” in America is as much about being poor as anything else. And right now in America there are few more dangerous things to be. It is not true in every case. It is not true even in a lot of cases. But to an extraordinary extent it is true. And that truth is a mark of shame on all of us.

If you are diagnosed with a psychiatric diagnosis you are disproportionately likely to be unemployed, disproportionately likely to be chronically unemployed, disproportionately likely to be homeless, disproportionately likely to have no health insurance, disproportionately likely to not have adequate medical care, disproportionately likely to have a criminal record, disproportionately likely to have a substance abuse problem, disproportionately likely to be a victim of violence or abuse and finally disproportionately likely not to live as long as someone without a psychiatric diagnosis.

A few…

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To become a hero.

I haven’t written or shared any content since the end of April.  This is because I’ve been really busy in every aspect in my life.

However, here, 24 days before I turn 30, I would like to say that I’ve almost caught up to where life has been leading me.

As you know, at the time I wrote that last post, I was in the process of getting hired by my psychiatrist’s office at their other facility.  That has since happened.  Now, I am on the way to getting my Paraprofessional and CPS certifications.  In the middle of June through my birthday, I’ll be heading to a wonderful training course with the CPS program in Georgia, and I couldn’t be more excited!  Even now, a lot of the consumers that I work with really look up to me.  It was a learning process too.  I’m not the one who is the best at discerning situations, and now I’m getting the hang of it.  I have a very good boss who is leading me in the right way, and all of the other staff are very helpful.  I couldn’t be happier where I landed.

I have to say that now that I have three months under my belt working and volunteering where I’m at, I understand the other side of the mental health world a little better.  I now understand that there are some people who do fail their consumers.  I also know that there are people who will always look down on people who have mental illnesses as well.  It really doesn’t matter to me what they think now.  I would like to take you back to last year.  I was going after the 30 day writing challenge, and on one of the days, I got a really negative comment.  It was someone who perhaps I had talked to in my area a bit, and this person called me a mooch, and made ignorant assumptions that I wanted to date some of the people in the entry that I made, which I’ve since deleted.  I think about that scenario, and I tie it into what I hear and see on a daily basis.  Like me, some of these people need an honest chance, and someone to believe in them.  I don’t think someone deserves to work with people who from the start have a preordained judgment on you, and sadly, for those who are a lot more broken, that is their reality.

As you all know, I do watch anime.  However, the type of anime I watch mostly are ones with an average person going in and doing something extraordinary.  I’m really drawn to them in the sense that I feel like I’m like that.  I used to be so flashy and flamboyant and such, but in reality, I just felt like I had to be like that in order to feel average.  Now, I think with how many people are on my side now, I have to think that some how I touched them in some way.  Just like those average heroes in those animes who gain a lot of followers as the episodes go on, I feel like that has happened to me today socially.

Maybe I should let them in a lot more.  I’m not really the best at that.  Isolation is a big enemy of mine. Maybe it’s more of I don’t know what to do, now that in a societal view, I would be called normal.  I don’t know, it just seems so new to me I guess.

Now, I go into the next phase of goals for myself.  As I’ve said, I want to make a splash in the fighting game community in the next few years.  Also, I have been doing an okay workout, and I would like to do some more with it.  So, I’m going to study a bit of Bruce Lee’s workout regimen.  He always spent a lot of time on fine tuning his body for fighting.  So, I’m going to be adopting some of his stuff.  I think in an overall sense, I just want to be a bit more consistent in my life moving forward.  I feel like, that with the way things were going, I didn’t really have a lot of control of what I was doing.  Now, I have a lot more, and it feels good.

But, I think that with the things I’m looking into and this blog, I can maybe be a hero to one or two people.  So hopefully, all these things will rewrite someone’s future!  Keep reading guys!  I got some more stuff on the horizon!

Rewriting a hopeless future.

For the past week, I’ve been thinking about the amount of progress I’ve made in this short amount of time.

I’ve thought about the support I’ve gotten (which has been a lot more than I can imagine it would have been), and I am grateful in that for sure.

Today, I go before the therapist that I’m working with to finally tackle the final issue that catapulted me to get myself to the point of starting in my own personal recovery.  I think that, when I overcome the feelings involved with what happened back then, I believe that I will have made a crucial step into my own ongoing recovery.

I believe some time ago, I posted in an entry what my birth tarot cards were.  One of those was the strength card.  If you know anything about tarot, the main thing about this card is that it revolves around inner strength. I guess with me, I have always had an immense amount of inner strength, but I did not have the means to draw it out.  I feel like that today, I am on the way to learning how to tap into this more consistently as well as in more creative ways.  

I guess, I’m still in a bit of a shock over how things are now.  A lot of the consumers that I work with, they may or may not have the chance to take a future that is blinded to them by their past, improper managing of their symptoms and triggers, or perhaps the circles keep them in inconsistent situations where they cannot get the stability to believe or think like this.  Because of my empathetic nature, I will not lie to you and say that it breaks my heart seeing what I see on a daily basis.  

I am fully aware that I am one person, and I cannot save everyone.  I guess if I can guide one consumer to thinking that their future is not hopeless, that their future can always be changed, I think I would have done my job really well.  Even if I am in shock over what I see, I won’t run from it.  This position, is my future.  A future, which was given to me by me doing what I could to get better.  No, that’s not exactly accurate.  I did what I needed to, to survive.  I was one of those who thought there was nothing for my future.  Somehow, I rewrote that.  Hopefully, I’ll do the same with some other people!

Mentally ill people aren’t killers, or abusers. Angry people are.

I wanted to share this. This entry brings some much needed clarification to the notion that the majority of people diagnosed with a mental illness are also those that are extremely violent.

Healing From Complex Trauma & PTSD/CPTSD

PTSD – is also not an excuse for violence, domestic violence, or abuse.

It is always the PTSD sufferers responsibility to manage any anger, express it appropriately, and if too difficult – remove themselves from people and family etc – until they can.

I agree with this…

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/medical_examiner/2014/04/anger_causes_violence_treat_it_rather_than_mental_illness_to_stop_mass_murder.html?wpisrc=burger_bar

The following is from this ^ link.

In the 1980s, around the time of the massive deinstitutionalization of the mentally ill, I was working toward my degree in clinical psychology by training at a psychiatric hospital in Washington, D.C. One sweet, diminutive, elderly patient sometimes wandered the halls. She had been committed to the hospital after she stabbed someone in a supermarket. She was what is sometimes referred to as a revolving-door patient: She was schizophrenic and heard frightening voices in her head, and when she became psychotic enough, she would be hospitalized, stabilized on medication, and then released back to the…

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A beautiful commercial from the most unlikely.

I want you to take a look at this commercial, and get touch by it like I did.

A lot of times people see someone doing a selfless act and bring an instant judgement on it. They call it foolish.

What if we all did some small form of altruism? Something very empathic and pure?

Think about that as you watch this video.

Quick read on Mindfulness.

Quick read on Mindfulness.

I’ve been on the DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) form of treatment for quite sometime now.  Even though that it was primarily used to treat those with Borderline Personality Disorder, it has helped me very well in taking my coping skills to the next level.  

This article from TWLOHA slightly touches of the foundation of DBT, which is Mindfulness.  Think about taking a subject, and being able to just accept it.  You don’t have any reaction to it, thoughts, opinions, or anything of the like.  This something that is easy in saying.  This is hard to master, as I’m finding out.

I hope you enjoy the read!  I know that I said that I would have a big update post ready, but I got hired by my psychiatrist’s office!  Therefore, my time is stretched thin.  However, I will find some time to write about what has happened since that last huge post that I made!